The modern woman

I am a woman who consists of mistakes,

a woman who does not understand business.

I can not cook and do not mend

I can not crochet and do not knit.

But there’s one thing I can do wonderfully,

Every man appreciates that, too

and that makes me so easy

reached by no other woman.

I can do it from the front and from the back,

I can do it too slowly and quickly.

I can do it sideways and bending over,

I can do it well on my back too.

I know that in every custom,

and on my stomach, I can do it too.

I started early.

A young man has taught me.

He was very young and very strong,

He was very violent in it.

In the beginning I was very worried

I was afraid of his pole.

The first jump did not succeed,

I heard the angels singing.

but the tempo was soon found,

the resistance was overcome.

And over time, the routine came.

I stay slim as a lily.

And as I said, I’ll be so easy

reached by no other woman.

I love it in the morning and that’s good

there you are so well rested.

In the evening it is the best

ere the Sun ‘at Untergeh’n is. –

I do it even in darkness and light –

and if the mood takes me,

I do it like a puddle.

It is very nice when you go to two ,

more beautiful even to three .

And when a partner waits tired,

another one instead of his starts.

I will never start too much

I always come to my destination.

You may not believe it,

I am a friend of rubber hats.

I’m only interested in nature,

My element, that is the wetness.

I’ve teased you enough now –

there is a double meaning hidden:

I certainly did not speak of what was wrong,

what I can do is swim!

Funny Story